These last few days I have been facing the hardest battle and fight that I have ever faced. And that’s saying something for someone who has been forced to fight tough battles all her life. After a couple of days to process through the shock and emotions though, I am starting to come around. I do not know how this one will end. It looks very grim still, but I am fighting as hard as I can and am doing everything I can to bring in professional support and advocacy as well to help me.
All in all though, I know my children and I will be okay someway, somehow. We may not get the outcome we are fighting for, but I know I can trust my God to keep us safe and hold us up regardless of what happens to us. That’s not to say I am not scared. I would be flat out lying if I tried to claim I wasn’t scared. I do trust Him though as best as I know how to do so. He has gotten me through many a nightmare in this life, and He has promised in His Word to never leave me or forsake me and to carry me through the fire.
Praying this “fire” doesn’t take away as much as it is threatening to, but if it does, ready or not, I will step out in the faith that my loving Father in Heaven has my back.
Below (at the end of this post) is a song that I heard on the radio while taking the kids out for a drive. Something I tend to do when I can’t sleep and am overwhelmed with grief and/or stress as the kids tend to relax and quiet down while in the car and I am able to listen to my music and focus on the road instead of all my trials. At first, I wasn’t really feeling like an overcomer. The song that best described my state of mind and heart at the time was this one. In a lot of ways it still does express my heart well too, but then I got the mail, and found a precious gift inside from a friend who wanted to encourage me. She succeeded. ❤ Tears flowed freely from my eyes as I opened the package and took in the contents it held… but I also smiled the biggest I have in days. It was a priceless gift that cost little but was made with so much heart. My favorite kind. 🙂
Reading that little card and holding all those little items in my hand, really did encourage me as I allowed myself to soak in the reminder that I am not alone even in my darkest hours. Something everyone could use a tangible reminder of from time to time I am sure. : )
Some other encouragement came by the way of some verses that have always been a favorite source of comfort for me. I have included two of them below. I hope they and the song can offer some encouragement to some of you out there as well.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 8: 38, 39
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41: 10
“Overcomer” by Mandisa