Worn

A class, a call, a worried babysitter.

A talk, a sudden shiver, another call.

Twitching, incoherence, lost communication, 911.

Flashing lights, ambulance, emergency transport.

Lost on the highways, police escort, cold hospital halls, silent room.

A diagnosis.  Seisures.  Bad.

Doctors called, room prepared, long walk.

No babysitters, little brother with us, surrounded by sick kids.

EEGs, more episodes, no answers, getting sick, still handling both boys.

Friends call, friends stop by, notes of encouragement, strength to go on.

New medicine, scared child, brainstorming ideas.

Finally released, all are sick, no help at home, reality starts to set in.

Overwhelmed, Autism blaring, no understanding, raised tension.

A time out, a small break, an escape, a frantic call.

No sign, no sound.  Flashing lights, police officers, concerned (and opinionated) city official.

Finally found, nothing but diaper, cold but oblivious, led back home, safe at last.

Mental break down, lots of tears, uncontrollable shaking, “Can’t take this anymore!”

Talk with friends, mom volunteers to watch boys tomorrow, starting to calm down.

A meal out, cute moments, smiling faces.  How can one not love these two?

A long drive, sleeping in their car seats, listening to music in front seat.

Grabbed computer, logged on, started typing.  Blog is voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m worn.  I really feel like I can’t go on.  I know my God will carry me through this though.  I also have made some amazing friends since starting this journey on-line and their encouragement and support have been like none other I have ever known.  This life is still hard and incredibly lonely, but my faith is still intact and I know I can’t give up. I wont give up.

~~~~~

Thank-you for listening.  : )

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One thought on “Worn

  1. We have a saying here in Australia which I thought of when I read your post.
    “How much can a Koala Bear?” Apparently a lot. Good to see you posting again. I planned to give you a surprise in my next post but I reckon you need it now.
    You cant actually have it now but you can look at it and smile now. I am giving myself one and also you one. Next post. As that little blue fish in Finding Nemo says “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”
    http://www.tartx.com/blog/?page_id=233 🙂

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